Friday, March 10, 2006

Jesus is Just All Right

Okay, so here's the problem I have with Christian rock. It's not that it's Christian - hell, some of my favorite songs ever have Christian overtones.

"When I find myself in times of trouble, Mother Mary comes to me..."

"Jesus is just all right with me..."

"So I know that when I die, He's gonna set me up with the Spirit in the sky..."

Some of the greatest music ever has been in the celebration of religion. Would Handel have written the music for the Messiah without religion as his inspiration? Beyond music, some of the greatest art ever produced has been religious in nature. Think of the Sistine Chapel, or the great Buddhist and Hindu temples, or Da Vinci's painting of the Last Supper. I have no problem with religion in art. But here's the thing: religion and art are not inseparable. Da Vinci also painted the Mona Lisa. McCartney also wrote "Band on the Run."

Maybe I'm just a bit irritated right now. I'm sitting in a coffee house, listening to a couple of friends do a set. In an hour and a half, every song has been about God in one of His incarnations. Actual lyric: "It's all about you, Jesus." That sums the set up pretty well. (And they've been repeating that line for literally six minutes now)

And that's my problem with Christian rock. Yeah, it may sound good, the tunes might be nice, but there's absolutely no variety when it comes to subject matter. Yeah, okay, I get it - you're nuts about God. But what else you got? (I know, I know. I'm writing this as a somewhat puzzled deist. I'm not exactly unbiased here. But my issue isn't with religion. I think I've made that point. My problem is that it's boring.)

There also seems to be an attitude that if you're singing about God, you don't have to put as much effort into it. 90% of the Christian rock songs I've heard have had one, or at most two, verses, and a chorus. Thus a 3-minute song might only have a minute of actual content, and is then padded with endless repetitions of the chorus. To paraphrase Samuel Johnson: "The wonder of these songs is not that they are written well, but that they are written at all." It's about God - all we have to do is sing loud and look passionate about it, and the subject matter will make it significant!

Christian rock takes itself far too seriously. You will never hear a funny Christian rock song, or even a moderately clever one. You will never see someone sing a Christian rock song without looking constipated. And you will never hear a Christian rock song that doesn't sound like every other Christian rock song.

My last issue with the genre is that it's very self-congratulatory. Nobody has ever been converted my listening to a Christian rock song. They're written by the faithful, for the faithful, and they're all about the warm 'n' fuzzy feeling they get when Jesus hugs their hearts. Hey, I get the same feeling when I listen to a great piece of music - but I'm not gonna spend ninety minutes singing about the Brandenburg concertos.

I feel bad about writing this. These guys my friends, and they are good. But they could be so much better, if only they would allow themselves to vary from the formula a bit.

Karl Marx said it: "Religion is the opiate of the masses." Whether that's true or not, it certainly applies to tonight's music.