"Have a cookie!"

I swear that, when I started this blog, I didn't expect it to revolve around airports. But here I am, sitting at the arrival gate at Fort Wayne International, waiting for Grandma's flight to arrive.

("What game you gonna play?" asks the guy next to me as I pull out my laptop. "No game," I reply, "just doing some writing." "Oh, an aspiring author?" "You might say I'm aspiring to be an aspiring author." "That's fucked up.")

So. Sitting in an airport, laptop perched delicately upon lap. I'll avoid the obvious ranting about security, as the staff has been nothing but friendly. In fact, at my side is a half-eaten sugar cookie given to me by one of the sweet old ladies hired by FWA to greet arriving travelers.

"You look hungry, hon. Want a cookie?"

Who can say no to a cookie?

I think FWA has the right idea in doing this. Yes, they have the requisite, looming security presence, but they offset it with somebody's grandma handing you a cookie and welcoming you to Fort Wayne. It's not much, I know, but after a long flight, the supicious stares of security, maybe running through O'Hare or finding you luggage has ended up in Fort Worth, there's something comforting about a carbohydrate-laden little goodie.

"How many are you waiting for? Just one? Here's a cookie for each of you."

Nice.

(I wonder if this place has wi-fi?)

(sweeeeet!)

We humans are programmed to equate fat and carbs with well-being. To our starving forebears, this little confection could have spelled the difference between life and death. More than that - most of us associate cookies and sweet old ladies with memories of Grandma's house. And while this is, in our well-fed society, one of the root causes of our current health crisis, it can also be used for good.

(Aw, jeez, Grandma's flight hasn't even departed yet? This is not how I want to spend my Friday night!)

I'm actually a bit surprised that the idea of giving out cookies hasn't caught on elsewhere. A cookie is a ludicrously cheap thing to make - a few cents' flour an sugar, maybe a tenth of an egg, and enough heat to denature it all. For a simple little sugar cookie like the ones they gave me, we're talking about maybe a five-cent expense.

This could become the first line of defense in customer relations. An angry customer, offered a cookie, is much more likely to slow down . . . if only to eat the cookie.

"I'm sorry the waitress was rude, sir - would you like a cookie?"

"I'm sorry, ma'am, but the part won't be in until next week - would you like a cookie?"

"You're evicted. Have a cookie."

Obviously, this wouldn't be effective in every situation ("You've been diagnosed with type-b diabetes - would you like a . . . hmmm, probably not"), but I think that, by and large, it could be a major step forward in interpersonal communications.

(Screw it. I'm eating Grandma's cookie.)

("Ladies and gentlemen, flight 4700 service from Detroit has arrived. Passengers can be met at the arrival gte momentarily.")

(Bugger.)