Stress Relief

It's hard to get stressed when you're spouting Shakespearean insults at people. A conversation between myself and one of my bosses at work today:

Chanel: Dan, can you take this order?

Me: My love for thee can bear no better term than this: thou art a villain!

Chanel: What?

Me: The lips rot from thy face, thou lumpish fen-sucked hedge-pig!

Chanel: What have you been smoking?

Me: You scullian! You rampallion! You fustilarian! I'll tickle your catastrope!

Chanel: . . . .

Me: You starveling, you eel-skin, you dried neat's tongue, you bull's pizzle, you stock-fish! O! for breath to utter what is like thee! You tailor's yard, you sheath, you bow-case, you vile standing-tuck!

Chanel: Sue, can you take this order?

The Immortal Bard indeed.