Sunday, August 12, 2007

soapbox: Pride and Prejudice

A couple weeks ago, a couple of friends, completely independently of each other, asked me if I'd like to come to a local Pride festival. My answer to all was along the lines of "I probably won't make it out, but have fun." This was good enough for most, but one friend (who will of course remain anonymous) pushed the issue. "Why aren't you going? Don't you support us?"

Well, of course I do. I'm what's called a straight supporter - I'm not homo- or bisexual myself, but I see no reason why it should be anything but okay. I fully support marriage legislation; I've even let the issue influence my vote. Okay, I'm not terribly active in The Community (more on this in a future post), but they've got my wholehearted support. Hell, I've got way too many GLBT friends to even consider thinking any other way.

The thing I don't do, though, is attend "Pride" events. Parades, concerts, festivals, whatever - you won't find me there (one exception: I love the Rocky Horror Picture Show, and any public screening tends to turn into a Pride event. But that's not why I go.). Now, why is this? It's not fear or shame - I could honestly care less what a stranger thinks my orientation is, and my friends generally know where I stand: fairly screwed up, but straight (although one or two seem to think I'm a 3C, or Certified Closet Case). And if I'm really worried, well, I can always get a "Straight Supporter" T-shirt or something.

No, the reason why I don't go to these things is because they tend to be so painfully undignified that I'm embarrassed by association. Think of the stereotypical Pride parade. Yes, there are some who carry themselves with a bit of dignity - parents' groups, mainly, or teachers. But they're not the ones who get the attention. The ones who get the attention are the ones who scream for it: the fat women in fetish gear, or the skinny, jockstrap-clad men grinding away to Aretha Franklin songs, or the oiled-up firemen, or whatever.

Yes, I'm dealing in stereotypes here. But there's a reason for that: it's the stereotypes who grab the spotlight, and it's generally deliberate. The flashiest, most flamboyant attendees are there to be seen, dammit, and if that means parading in front of a TV camera in body glitter, three feathers, and a smile, well, no sacrifice too great for equal rights, right?

Unfortunately, this doesn't do a lot for the cause, because it means that the only representatives of the GLBT community that the general public sees are the ones who are the hardest to take seriously. Hell, as far as I'm concerned, they're preaching to the choir, and even I have a hard time respecting them. A tip to GLBT protesters: if you're alienating your own supporters, you may want to rethink your strategy. I'm just sayin'.

Basically, what I'm describing here is cognitive dissonance: I support the cause, but not its most vocal proponents. I'm all about gay marriage, equal treatment, what have you, but NAMBLA can just shut right the hell up as far as I'm concerned (incidentally, the same goes for animal rights: the ASPCA gets my donations; PETA doesn't).

I'm posting this in a few places where my friends can see it. I'm curious to see what others think of this, especially those who are GLBT. And if any of this offends you, well, next time we meet up, I give you permission to tease me for being left-handed.

1 Comments:

Blogger Sundry said...

I think it's all right to choose the ways you support your friends. Years (and years) ago I worked at a coffee house in Fort Wayne with a woman who was an exotic dancer (straight) at night, and I went to see her once. But it really wasn't my cup of schnapps and I wasn't terribly comfortable in the environment.

I have a lot of very close friends in the LGBT community, mostly because a lesbian coworker and friend was my entree into a great writing workshop that had originated at the LA Gay & Lesbian Center. Last night I went to a truly terrific reading at A Different Light in West Hollywood. (See the Sept 10th entry at http://thelastnoel.blogspot.com/ ) My friend Sheila gave a terrific reading, and I've also known Noel, the host, for years.

Anyway...In a city the size of Los Angeles, they are still talking about ways to build a LGBT literary community, and working on it. It would be wonderful if something similar could get started in FW. It's important for people to get to be their most outrageous selves, but there are lots of other parts of the psyche that need feeding too.

It's okay not to go to Pride events. I've only been to one myself. I hope your friends understand.

Another option: stage a heterosexual pride event and show 'em what a man you are! ;)

1:53 PM  

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